With the name of Allah the Most Gracious and Most Merciful
Today, I just found out something that might be changing my life, soon perhaps. To be honest, I don’t know what should I feel or how should I react. At first, I am just being neutral because I wanted to know what is happening to myself. I feel grateful because at least I am able to know why I always had few episodes of headache.
Then, I wanted to share with the closest people in my life knowing that they deserve to know what I am going through. And also with an intention that I might be getting some moral supports. At this time, I started to wander of all the (negative) possibilities that I actually don’t want to think of but it just slipped into my mind. Well, being strong is the only option available and I really don’t want to look weak (or be weak). It is just sad when I thought that I will be getting supports during my lowest point where actually it turned out to be vice versa. I felt disheartened. Whatever it is, I need to face the reality.
I know everyone deserve to be happy and to live perfectly well. I don’t mind to let go things that are not mine. I know I shouldn’t bridle a bird from flying high. I understand that lucidly. And I undoubtedly be open to whatever things that might be happening soon. I always have faith in You. Make me strong please.
p/s: not sure whether I should keep this post or just posted it anyway. I always write when I am in despair.